Sunday, October 28, 2012

Hey, boy....♥

I honestly don’t know how you’ve put up with me for so long. You haven’t given up on me and my issues. 
You’re the only person who has stayed long enough to know that it’s impossible for me to be happy with myself and everything else that’s going on. I have no clue how you can cope with my constant mood swings, anxiety attacks, negative thoughts, cutting, refusing to eat, late night texts after a night terror… 
I really just don’t know how you do it.
But what makes me wonder the most is why.
Why do you stick with me through this hell?
Why did you choose me, over every other girl who is absolutely perfect?

I’m a mess, you know that. 
I have so many imperfections, and yet, you seem to look past them all and see a beautiful girl with lots on her mind and worries that need to be sorted out. You try so hard to make me feel better everyday… you try so hard. 
I feel bad when I just can’t seem to accept your compliments, or take your advice. I’m sorry.
You know I would never let you go for the world, right?
You know I want you to be happy too, right?

So, answer me this: How can you be happy with somebody as problematic and me? How?

I don’t know why you think I’m beautiful. Or sane. Or lovely. Or anything that you think I might be. Believe me, nothing about me is right.
So, why do you stay?
I don’t know.
I honestly do not know.

But thank you for sticking with me through all of my tears, blood, bruising, stubbornness, pain, worrying. 
You’re an amazing boy just for doing all of that 

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