Shattered......

ARGGGGHHH!!! Why why must he rack up what's the past when he was the one who say he hate racking up the history... Are promise meant to be broken? Does it??!!! I don't understand... Bie, I really don't.
I have been trying so hard ...very very hard to please everyone. I don't know what else I can do :( sob~
Since the last argument about me being close with guys ,I shut myself down and keep distance with them . Yet it still seem not enough or it is because of lack of trust ? Last time I explained myself and you replied "well since you can't change then I change for you" but this time when the case being rack up I told you the whole truth about all the stuff but you doubt me don't you.... Thanks for being truth .
This is the last to say. I feel easy with guys more than girl because I grown up with guys and they are the one who teach me what's being real and friends loyalty . Friendship and being true to other ,for me it don't depend on gender . I'll be nice to who are nice to me and be nasty to who nasty to me..Each friends have their own way to call me and I won't mind because that shows they treat me as one closest of them. But for a strangers , I always have a limit .That's me ...the real me. I hate loneliness ,it kills me ,that's the reason I have lots of bosom friends and members.

You say "I like you being real " but wait...really? stop lying to yourself ...you just accept a part of me . Sorry that I can't be the one for you ...

I DON'T WISH TO LOSE YOU BUT THE DECISION IS NOT WITH ME.....

SOPHIE