I don’t really know the main reason I’m typing this entry … I just feel damn down .
It has been some period since the last time I feel terribly upset. This time even reading back the sweetest text or watching the funniest video can’t cheer me up again… why I wasn’t smiling instead tear rolled down? All of a sudden it just like imam falling into an endless hole there’s no light in front … it’s a pitch black …very dark that I’m so afraid and cold ~ I miss my childhood time where I can smile, sleep , laugh , play as I wanted . That was perfectly marvelous :) Now, it never happens…
Today I spent time drawing again. Only by drawing I can express my hidden feeling …. ( I can draw perfectly nice when I’m down , really)
People might ask , U do have a boyfie so why don’t go to him… [Yeah this question often keeps me silent]
But people don’t know I hate being seen when I’m weak even if he / she are my closest friend or relative.
That’s me… nothing change me~ I has this weird habit, love being alone when I’m down .so what?!
Must I go and plead for sympathy? If this happen then I wasn’t being myself ….
He cares … ahuh deniable ~ “we promised to shared everything “ that’s wad he told me
But should I be troubling him with such a minor thingy , that doesn’t make any sense TO ME .
Grandma once told me “ When you fall ,stand up by yourself … you not gonna learn if you keeps rely on others. What if one day they left ? Who are you going to rely on? ”
Okay enough for tonight … eyes getting tired n having flu … got to get some rest
see ya in the next entry kay . Love ya ~